Warmth
by ArceusGPG
Summary: Sometimes the world is a sad place, but I'm sure we can make it better. I'll do my best and you do yours, okay?


I like drawing with my crayons, especially on new paper. Most of the time I have to draw around the words, but sometimes I get a blank paper to myself. That's when I can use all of my imagination. When I have new paper, everything I draw is made by me. I can decide what happens, what colors to use, and there aren't any words to stop me.

It took me a while to find out that I was missing a few crayons. There's a book in my room with all the colors, and I found out that red was missing from my collection. That's okay though, because I can still use orange, which is kind of like red.

I want to become an artist someday so that I'll be really good at drawing. Mommy says I need to practice so that she can hang my pictures on the fridge. Right now the fridge only has pictures of people I've never seen before. The drawings are really good though, but they don't look like they're made of crayon so I don't know if I can do that.

I asked who those people were, but Mommy said that I wouldn't ever see them anyway. Mommy says they were her old family from a long time ago before she married Daddy, but I don't believe that. She's always been with Daddy since I can remember, so I think she made those people up.

Mommy said that a machine made those pictures and that people can't draw that good with crayons. I told her that if I practice enough, then maybe I could eventually. She laughed and hugged me because she said I sounded so cute. I'm not cute though; I was being serious.

I told my friend about my dream, but he didn't say anything because he can't talk. He's soft though, so I can hug him and I'll feel warm inside. He always smiles, even when I'm sad, so I can count on a friendly face no matter what. His name is Snuggles because I can snuggle him and he's always warm. My mommy told me that he's a Pokémon called Charmander, but I know that his real name is Snuggles.

Snuggles is hurt though, because he has a hole underneath his armpit. I have to be careful when hugging him or he might fall apart, but that's okay. He's been a good friend, even if he's old now.

Someday though, I want to see a real Charmander, and see if it's just as friendly as Snuggles. I asked where the real ones were, but no one would tell me.

Mommy says I ask too many questions and I might be in trouble if I keep doing that. But I want to learn things and that's how grown-ups tell me stuff. I don't keep secrets from them, why should they keep secrets from me?

One time my questions made Mommy sad though. Daddy was gone for a long time and I wanted to see him. I asked where he was, but Mommy didn't like that. She started crying. I don't like seeing Mommy cry so I didn't ask again. Daddy came back home, so I didn't need to worry.

But then they started yelling. They were very loud and made me scared. They didn't tuck me into bed like they used to, so I had to do it all by myself. I'm a big girl, so I could do it, but I still liked it better when Mommy did it. I held my best friend tightly because he was scared too, even if he was made of stuffing.

From that day on, they just kept being loud. I didn't like that. I think it was because I asked that question, so I don't ask hard questions anymore, so maybe that'll fix everything. Mommy and Daddy don't smile anymore, but if I'm really really good, maybe they'll be happy again.

Mommy told me that she didn't love him anymore, but she still loved me. But I wanted her to love Daddy too, so I told her. Then she told me that I didn't understand and I was just being annoying, so I stayed in my room until she wasn't mad.

When Daddy came home he went to my room to say hi. I didn't want to talk, but I didn't mind listening to him. He said that they were going through tough times and I had to be tough too. He said I was growing up to be a big and strong person, and I needed to trust him.

I trust my Daddy because he's always nice. I trust Mommy too, but sometimes she shouts a lot.

That night Daddy woke me up and told me to be quiet. I didn't say anything so we wouldn't wake Mommy up. She gets grumpy if I'm loud at night.

We walked outside. It was really cold. I told Daddy, so he went back inside and got my blanket which was nice. Then he went into the garage to get some things. I wasn't allowed inside because I'm never allowed in the garage. It's too dangerous in there, so I stay outside, which is fine.

I don't go outside very often, so it was nice to be there, even if it was cold. There wasn't any sun to look at, but there was a beautiful moon. I know I shouldn't look at the sun, because it will make me blind, but sometimes I will peek at it through my window. I'm not blind yet, so that's good.

Then we started walking a long time. I've never walked so much before, so it was really hard. Daddy kept telling me to hurry up because otherwise I would be late. He wouldn't tell me what I would be late for, even after I asked about it. He just said that I should wait and see. I wanted to know, but he started pulling on my arm so I went along.

Then I got so tired that Daddy had to carry me. I fell asleep a few times because I was really tired. Then Daddy woke me up and pointed to something. When I looked, I could see houses just like mine, except they looked really far away and looked a lot taller. There were so many of them that they looked like grass. From on top of the hill, they all looked small, but I knew that they were actually really big, but far away.

I asked Daddy what that place was, and he said it was the town. I enjoyed looking at the town for a while, but then I remembered I left Mommy and Snuggles at home. I haven't been so far away from them before, so I missed them.

I started crying because I was lonely, even with my daddy. It was so cold too, and I kept shivering. I was going to run back home, but Daddy promised that I would see them again. He looked at my eyes, so I knew he wasn't lying.

We went down the hill while I squeezed his hand. He kept sniffing, scratching his eyes with his other hand. I sniffled too, but that was because I was done crying. I try to be a big girl, but it's tough to do when I'm scared.

We were both quiet when we walked to the town because it was so cold. We kept our hands locked together, making sure not to get separated. I didn't like walking so much, but I trusted Daddy, so I was sure that he knew where he was going. Maybe we were going somewhere warm.

The sun started to come up in front of us, which made the walk easier because then we could see better. I didn't trip during the walk, but I was scared I was going to.

When we were near the buildings, I saw lots of people like Mommy and Daddy, but they were different. They didn't look the same as them, and they just walked by me without saying hello. I didn't want to talk anyway; they didn't seem very friendly. I tried to shield myself from the other people because they were all looking at me. I didn't like that. I hid behind my daddy, hugging on his leg. I kept looking at the ground so I didn't have to see anyone.

When we walked for a while, Daddy patted my head and pointed to a building. I looked up and saw a big house. It was so large and scary because of the way it stood over me. I went in though because Daddy wanted me to, even though I didn't like it.

Inside it was warm, so I didn't shiver so much. There were lots of machines there that were all shiny, but I didn't touch anything. Kids like me shouldn't touch machines because then you can get shocked and die. That's what Mommy said.

Daddy started talking to another person that I didn't know. He had a different voice than Daddy, but he looked sort of like him. He also wore different clothing than Daddy. He wore a big white coat that went to his knees. It had lots of buttons on the front.

Both of them kept looking at me when they were talking. I stayed near the door though, because I wanted to leave. There were too many machines around, and I didn't want to get hurt.

I could hear them arguing though. The white shirt person said I was "too young", but Daddy said I was "responsible". They kept moving their hands, and sometimes pointed at me. I just stayed quiet so I wouldn't interrupt them.

It took a long time, but Daddy finally decided it was time to leave. He was kind of angry at the white shirt person, but he didn't tell me that. I could see it on his face. We went out of the house and started walking back again. I kept my blanket tight around me so that I wouldn't be freezing, because the wind started to blow.

I was glad to go back home, because I really wanted to see Mommy again. The sun was high in the sky behind us, so it was breakfast time. That meant Daddy would be going to work soon, except he was here with me. That was kind of confusing.

When I thought we were going straight back to the house, Daddy pulled me out of the street in between two buildings. Then he put his hand on my shoulder and told me to wait there. I tried to hold on to his arm, but he pulled away and put his finger to his lips. I didn't want him to leave me alone. I couldn't be by myself. I needed Daddy.

He used his hand to push me down, but it wasn't very soft, and I fell on my butt. I started to cry again because it hurt. Daddy bent down and hugged me, telling me to be a big girl. I couldn't stop though because he was leaving me. I told him not to go, but he shook his head.

He put his face near mine and whispered that he was going to give me something. I asked what it was. He said he would give me a Charmander, just like Snuggles. That made me stop crying for a while.

He promised a real Charmander! My own Charmander! I let him go, after giving him a hug. I wanted to go with him, but he said that it would be quicker if he did it. So I watched him move around the corner and disappear.

I sat there in my blanket, leaning against the wall. He was taking a long time, and it was lonely by myself. I saw a few people pass by, but they didn't seem to notice me too much. They couldn't stop moving. I think they were like Daddy, and were just going to work. That's why they couldn't stop; they had to work for families.

I passed the time by looking at the other wall. It had lots of colors on it, making words I couldn't read. It was a really big drawing though, so it must have taken whoever made it a long time to draw. I would run out of crayons before I finished, even if I had an extra box with red in it. It seemed to mean something, but I couldn't figure it out. It was too hard to think because of the wind.

I had lots of time to think about things though. I could think about what my Charmander would be like, and whether it would look like my friend at home. If so, would they get along? Mommy says that opposites attract, so maybe my Charmander should be different so they'll like each other. I want them all to be friends, even if Snuggles isn't real.

But I was starting to get bored. I felt like I was in time-out, and I didn't even do anything. I wanted to go look for Daddy, but then he might not be able to find me again. I didn't know where the Charmander lived, so I wouldn't know where to look anyway.

I peeked around the corner to see if Daddy was coming back. I couldn't see him, but I knew he'd come and get me eventually. He loved me too much to leave me.

Shivering again, I sat back down between the two houses and leaned my back against the wall. The bricks were so cold it hurt my back, but it slowly warmed up when I pressed against it.

I tried to keep my head up, but I was having trouble doing that. My eyes started to close, so I forced them open with my fingers. I did this for a long time, but my arms started to get tired too. Eventually I had to lie down on the ground to rest and wrap myself in my little blanket.

Then someone woke me up. I blinked to let my eyes adjust and saw my daddy smiling at me. I was so happy to see him. I have him a big hug; I didn't even care that I couldn't see Charmander. I just loved to see him again.

Daddy pulled out a little ball and showed it to me. It looked like a bouncy ball I had at home, except with a real button on it. He put it in my hands, ruffling my hair. He told me to push the button and throw it.

I held the little toy in my hands, but I wasn't looking at it. I was too curious about the drawing on the wall. It seemed to mean something, so I wanted to know what it said.

"Daddy? What do those words say?" I asked, still staring at the words.

"You mean those? Don't worry about it. Why don't you just push the button?"

"But... Daddy, I want to know."

"You're not old enough to understand these things."

"_That's_ why I want you to explain it to me. I want to be a big girl, like you said."

He shook his head. That meant no. "Sorry, those are bad words. You're not ready to know about them yet, okay?"

I nodded, even though I knew it wasn't fair. I'd probably never see those words again, so I'd never get to know. How come adults kept everything for themselves?

I tried to not think about it too much. I looked at the new ball instead.

I tried to use my fingers to push the button, but they were kind of stiff from the cold, and I couldn't feel the ends of them very well. I didn't want to play with the toy if it was too much trouble, so Daddy took it back to help me. He pushed the button for me, and suddenly the little ball turned into a big one.

He put the new ball in my hands and said I should throw it. I stood up and tossed it to him, but he didn't want me to do that. He caught it and gave it back to me. He pointed to the ground and told me to smash it.

I didn't want to break my new toy, but Daddy was telling me to. It was so confusing. But he kept telling me to throw it, so I did.

There were lots of lights and scary noises, and then I saw something appear. I was afraid of it and ran behind Daddy. But Daddy said it was okay, because he was friendly and told me to say hi. But I didn't want to because he might hurt me.

I peeked from behind Daddy's leg at the monster. He was exploring around, sometimes falling over because he would trip on his big feet.

I slowly went over to the monster while making sure Daddy was right behind me. He looked like Snuggles, but much more dangerous. He had teeth and claws and a really big fire on his tail. The creature could burn someone really bad if he wanted to.

I said hi and he turned too look at me. He didn't growl at me like monsters do so he was probably nice. I reached out and patted his head which made him happy. His fur made me warm which I liked because then my hands weren't as cold. He seemed to like me and I liked him too.

Daddy knelt down again, which meant he wanted me to pay attention to him. He told me it was time for me to grow up and become strong for the family. He said my Charmander was my new friend and I should take care of him and protect him, just like Mommy did with me. He told me to keep him safe and stay close to him when I'm cold or scared.

Then he kept saying sorry over and over but didn't tell me what he was sorry about. I asked him but he just shook his head. I must have asked one of those bad questions again, because it made Daddy so sad that he started crying. Seeing Daddy cry made me cry too. Daddy never cries because he's tough so I must have really hurt him.

Then he got up and told me he had to go. I tried to follow him but he said that I should stay with Charmander. He kept saying I was a big girl and to stay strong, but I didn't want him to leave. I kept hugging his leg and didn't let go, even after he told me to stop, so he walked back between the buildings and set me down.

"Stay here, okay? I promise I'll be back."

I almost started to cry but remembered I needed to be strong. Daddy would come get me, just like last time. I needed to be grown up so I can take care of Charmander. I gave Daddy a nod, even though I didn't want him to go again. I had Charmander to keep me warm, so I could wait forever if I wanted to.

"Good."

He turned and walked away, but I could tell he didn't want to go either. He kept looking back at me with a sad face. He waved and shouted that he still loved me no matter what. I love Daddy no matter what too. And I love Charmander too, because he's really friendly.

Charmander and I stayed close together for a long time. We didn't say anything but I knew we were best friends. I could hold a real Snuggles now, so I didn't need my old doll, even if it used to be my favorite.

I must have fallen asleep because I woke up next to my friend. Daddy still wasn't around, even though I slept for a long time. I was getting hungry and thirsty and I wanted to go home. I didn't know where home was, but I knew Mommy was there. She was always at the house making lunch for me, even when she was feeling sick or sad. She felt those things a lot, even more than me.

I sat down next to Charmander and tried to think about something else. I didn't like feeling hungry, but at least I wasn't cold like before. I had to stay strong for Charmander, so I didn't cry or ask any questions. All I did was sit there, wondering how long I'd have to wait before I could go home.

"Don't worry, Charmander. I'm never going to leave you. I promise."

Sometimes I say things to cheer myself up. It doesn't always work though.

"I'll be your mommy, okay? And when we go home, I can feed you like a mommy should."

I gave my dozing friend a hug to show that I loved him. I think he understood. And even though we were living in a cold world, we could keep each other warm. I promised myself that I'd hug Daddy when he came back.


End file.
